** 2 I-wanted-to-like-this-book-but-didn't-so-the-star-got-a-bandaid stars **
----------- dnf at 68% ---------------
---------- spoilers ahead!! ---------
Okay, so I wasn't imagining this to a very serious book when I picked it up. I though it would be fun with a little captor and hostage in a cabin or something (thank god, I'm talking about a book here... ;) LOL).
Stewart is a kind-of-ranger guy who stumbles upon Alex, the just-out-of-prison-with-a-mind-at-vengeance-over-the-drug-dealer-who-killed-his-brother kind of guy out in the woods. Alex doesn't want Stewart running off and tell the police of his plans, so he ties him up at gun point and takes him with him planning on releasing him when the deed is done so to speak.
The story takes place in the Appalachian Mountains where they have their own "hill logic" and follow the Bible to the dot. Basically they're Moonshiners, red necks and gun wielding "idjits".
Yeah, you tell'em, Bobby!
The Mountain folks keep by God's word, like "thou shall not kill", except when it threatens the still or themselves, of course. Uhm. Right.
So Stewart and Alex visits a Moonshiner named Elijah to get help to get rid of the drug dealer "next door". The Moonshiner wants to kill Stunt because he don't want "no Feds" coming down on him for being part of a kidnapping. Can't let him go or he'll talk. Shoot him and the problem is solved. Uhm. Right.
I think this is Elijah.
Alex doesn't want the Moonshiner to kill Stewart, because he luuves him already. They met yesterday when Alex took Stewart hostage. They're already feeling the love. Uhm. Right.
Stewart isn't all that keen to be kill either, btw. Duh.
Oh! And they both like bondage. Stewart and Alex that is, not the Moonshiner. Stewart is the "bondagee" and Alex is the "bondager". Okay, I just made up those words. But this is a match made in Heaven, you might think. Right?
Funny you should mention Heaven. Because "in the hills" you can promise all you want, but that won't "forever hold your peace" (words of God, you know). So for Stewart to "hold his peace" he must either be dead or... wait for it...
'Cus, you know....
"...if you make a commitment in front of God, that means something in these parts. That's not to be undertaken lightly."
Marriage or death. "Forever hold you peace".
AND, they have to consummate the marriage too. If you catch my drift. In the Moonshiner's house the eve before "the wedding". Including bondage and stuff. You know. The works.
Shouldn't they have waited until after the "I do's"?
Nope, sorry, gives bad taste.
Why 2 stars you might wonder? Well, it was written in a funny way and the writing was actually pretty good. I get why some might rate the book higher. I would have liked it more hadn't it been so unbelievable! I think I was expecting something else, and got thrown off track by the turn of events. I dunno.
I'm not gonna speculate any more why I dnf'd. Right, Bobby?
Right. Uhm. No, you don't. Sorry.
"Wait, Bobby! Don't hang-----"