Tell Me It's Real

Tell Me It's Real - T.J. Klune This book was a slooow read, okay?

Why? Because I had to stop ALL THE TIME to...



I loved the characters:

Paul, a drama queen with an very active imagination and a bad case of mouth diarrhea and some serious bad luck
"And I started to choke. At first, it wasn’t so bad. I thought I could still breathe around it and I made a noise that made me sound like an Ewok: “Urka. Urk. Urk.” (...)And then I felt everything go dark and my breath stopped and my heart thudded lightly in my chest. I saw a white light and went into it. My body died, but I ascended into heaven, where a group of shirtless and way-hot angels waited for me and wanted nothing more than to cater to my every whim. My favorite was an angel named Esteban Ortega who whispered dirty words in Spanish in my ear and who I called “Papi.” I was happy, happy at last, and that’s where I stayed for all eternity, with a Latin angel and my ginormous penis. And a halo. And wings. And I also could make unlimited wishes. The end. Okay, I’m just fucking with you. I didn’t die. That’d been a bummer way to end the story, don’t you think? Gay people get happy endings too, Hollywood!"

Sandy/Helena, Paul's best friend and diva drag queen extraordinaire
"Helena reached out and grabbed my hand and squeezed. Without moving her lips from that big, showgirl of a smile, she muttered, “On a scale of one to ten, how pissed are you?”
“Seventy-two,” I murmured back. (...)
“Thank God it’s that low,” she said, her smile going wider."

Vince, sexy, dimpled, confident
“You may as well just give up now,” he said.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re going to go on a date with me. It’s just easier if you say yes now.”
“Cocky fucking bastard.”
“Nah, I just see that you want to, but for some reason you’re saying no.”

Larry and Matty, Paul's parents
“You guys are just biased.”
“Well, even if we weren’t, we’d still love you to pieces,”
Mom said. “We know you’re shy, Paul, and maybe you’ll always be like that. But one day, someone is going to come along and sweep you off your feet and it will be like magic. You’ll open up like a blushing, virgin flower filled with rainbows and sprinkles”
“Rainbows and sprinkles,”
my father agreed. “The most sprinkliest virgin flower ever.”
“I love you guys,” I told them honestly, even if they were batshit insane.

Nana Gigi, Paul's grandmother
She smiled sweetly at me and reached up to cup my face.
“Paul, I’m going to tell you this once and only once, okay?”
I nodded at my beautiful grandmother.
She slapped me upside my head.
“If you spout any of that bullshit to me ever again, I will tan your hide, you hear me? You need to get over yourself and stop being a whiny little bitch. If he sees something in you that the rest of us have seen for years, then God almighty, you better be giving it as good as you get.”
I mumbled.
She rolled her eyes. “Don’t be such a baby."

and the homophobic parrot Johnny Depp
“Fairy!” Johnny Depp told me. He sat in a large cage in the corner, his gorgeous plumage hiding his evil, beating heart. He glared at me as I entered the room, clicking his claws against the wooden beam as he moved closer. “Don’t put your finger in my bum!”


Most of the story was hilarious, but at the end it turned surprisingly serious. I bawled my eyes out. Sickness and funeral is a sore spot. I felt so bad for Vince, and reading about the flashback of Sandy's loss and Paul being there for him.

Some negative points though.
Paul did some stupid things, but something really pissed me off. I can't believe Paul visited Vince's dying mother at the hospital without telling Vince! Waay out of line I think. I was so angry with him, I can understand Vince's reaction. And Paul's "joke" with the reader, that was lame reading I think.

But still, this book...
Very worth reading! :D

ps. if you liked/loved Tell me it's real, you also should check out [b:Slam!|17221425|Slam!|J.L. Merrow||23720451]
It's in the same Laugh My Ass Off category. There's even a dog in that story as well. His name is Bubbles. "Bubbles by name, bubbles for brains." LOL!